you will never
find words for;
you will learn
to name them
after the ones
who gave them
I saw this in a movie somewhere
It was something about breaking the gaze and animal training.
If as you read this it becomes about sex it was put there so any empathy towards me gets eaten and the situation continues.
My goal has always been to be diversely talented so I could work anywhere and those who find me valuable are using that to tear me and my potential to pieces. Anything other than offering me paid employment is a veiled excuse to watch me get torn apart.
I’m being made worthless and forced to allow someone else tell to me how to make it right, all of them assuming I want what they have.
Meanwhile those who like to say ‘you won’t need that where you’re going’ are feeding my talents up the river as they claim I’m destined for somewhere else.
They have the option of not doing that and expecting me to apologize for them. Instead they assume the right to parent me in situations where I already am able to perform quite well. A single offer of paid employment would end this but what I get are expectations of doing things for free, while they withhold money and demand behaviors only a parent with legal ownership of their child can make.
The financial situation my life has been steadily approaching is caused by the people who allowed it to happen and who are now punishing me for being in it. I’ll gladly repay all my debts when they stop fighting over paternity and put me in the game.